Research Question: Is it fair for one to be detained without being told why and without committing a crime, just because they are considered a potential threat to the national security?
Precise claim: I don't feel that preventive detention is a fair system.
Thesis Statement: Despite what has been said by creators and supporters of Preventive Detention, it is an unjust way for the government to give people a false sense of national security. They trick people into thinking that since the guy that was recently arrested was a threat and now is off the streets, the country is now that much safer. Sure, it is possible that he was a threat, but it is also possible that you have the wrong guy. Is that man not still "innocent until proven guilty."
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I think you need to narrow your thesis down to one sentence. I really like your first sentence as it is direct and to the point. Your other sentences are also well written as they seem to support the first sentence.
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